Lately, I’ve felt a lack of motivation to do anything. I quickly became aware of my state and behavioral tendencies, but even after addressing the main emotional blocks, the motivation still didn’t return. So I chose to let it be. Just like tides rise and fall, the moon waxes and wanes—everything is part of a cycle. It will come back eventually.
With that, I started a mindfulness experiment: I consciously allowed myself to scroll short videos and play games, observing and directly experiencing the changes in my state.
Scrolling Short Videos
While watching short videos for extended periods, I realized I often immerse myself in the content, experiencing countless “real” situations: funny, critical, angry, compassionate…
It seems like I’m trying to relax, but in reality, my brain is overloading—processing endless fragments. One moment I’m laughing at a funny animal clip, and the next, I’m thrown into a car accident scene, feeling unease and fear. My brain plants a seed that could trigger future anxiety. Then I’m thrust into a political debate, and my mind scrambles to argue back, filled with emotion—sometimes even despair. Especially in the comment section: a few rational voices, but mostly emotional outbursts and hostility.
In just half an hour, my brain goes through emotional rollercoasters and logical fragmentation. Am I really relaxing?
The Accumulated Effect
After a few weeks, I began unconsciously opening Instagram, scrolling aimlessly, only to stop when I felt drained. My mind became increasingly restless, craving short tasks. Even when I wanted to focus, I couldn’t. Attention became scattered, concentration shorter, and the inner voice asking me to watch videos got louder.
Worse still, this affected many areas of life. I became more impatient, more irritable. Countless short videos buried more seeds in my brain—seeds of future anxiety, fear, and worry. My brain began forming new biases and stereotypes. I was becoming a slave to my thoughts.
Gaming
Have you noticed that after not gaming for a while, the first few rounds feel smooth and enjoyable? Your brain is calm, observing the visuals and movements—like an adventure in a new world. Performance is good, and your mind runs efficiently.
But the more you play, the more your ego shows up. The aesthetics fade, and all you see are dots, lines, and skill ranges. You win and crave more dopamine; you lose and chase revenge, with regret and frustration.
I’d often tell myself, “Just one or two games,” but I’d end up playing into the night—face flushed, eyes wild, shirt soaked in sweat.
After long gaming sessions, I even started to experience game images in my semi-dream state. It felt like my brain was whispering: “Go play—it’ll make you feel good.” And so, the cravings for dopamine grew stronger, the dependency deeper, and the cycle harder to escape.
The Body Responds Too
Whether it’s videos or games, the posture is always the same. I started noticing physical discomfort—muscle tension, local pain, rounded shoulders, forward head, anterior pelvic tilt, tendonitis, muscular compensations… even my breathing felt restricted, triggering a chain of reactions throughout the body.
This experiment was truly fascinating to me. The insights I gained were incredibly valuable.
What are your thoughts on this?
