Have you ever felt, even if just for a second, that you didn’t truly seize the present moment? That you didn’t fully take advantage of the opportunity in front of you? It’s a subtle feeling—not painful, not an emotional breakdown, not that anything specific went wrong—just a quiet sense of “what a pity.”
In my previous article, “Do you ever feel like everything around you is unreal?” I talked about the sense of derealization. But here, that sense seems to play a smaller role—even if it’s still present—because both arise from a similar root: a disconnection caused by not truly living in the present. The focus of my earlier article was on fully experiencing the moment. But in this piece, I want to explore a different angle: fully utilizing it.
Sometimes, we’re able to notice when we’re not fully present—we sense that something about this moment is slipping through our fingers. But even when we notice that, we don’t quite know how to make better use of it. If we reflect, we might think: “It feels like there was something I could have done, but I didn’t. But what exactly could I have done?” It’s like there’s an invisible veil hiding the possibilities that were right there.
At the root of this feeling is that we didn’t do what our inner self truly wanted to do. But often, we’re not even aware of this idea. So why does this happen?
In everyday life, we accumulate subtle experiences of fear and anxiety. Without us even realizing it, our brain tries to protect us by blocking, distorting, or rationalizing these experiences to make our lives feel ‘normal’. But this also dulls our awareness of our real needs and shrinks the world as we perceive it. Not because the world itself is smaller, but because in filtering out risks, our brain also filters out opportunities—leaving our deeper longings locked away inside.
For example, if I don’t want strangers to talk to me on the subway, my brain might encourage me to retreat into my inner world to avoid interaction. But the real narrative isn’t “I don’t want to talk to strangers.” It’s that I fear rejection, judgment, or misunderstanding. Deep down, I may want to connect with strangers. So what we perceive as a “normal” state of living is, in fact, a heavily filtered version of life created by our brain.
So, aside from regularly listening to your inner voice and trying to honor it, you might also consider seeking guidance. A guide can help you truly live again—live through each experience, each part, each moment. This can help you gradually become aware of the areas your brain has filtered out, and understand the fears or anxieties behind that filtering. Then, with awareness, you can reclaim your right to choose—taking back sovereignty over your life.
Gentle Reminder:
If you find yourself stuck during this journey, consider seeking the support of a professional coach. Or a mindfulness guide who can help you rediscover the parts of life your brain has been filtering out.
(Have you ever had such a moment? When the opportunity was right in front of you, but hesitation, fear, or unconscious patterns of avoidance made you miss it…)
